POOKAS ARE YOUR FRIENDS Pookaberry is Ollie the Octopus’ imaginary friend about whom much has already been posted on the internet specifically on various social networking sites, contrary to popular opinion of rabid bloggers, Ollie did not concoct Pookaberry specifically as an excuse to explain his absences from class to his teachers nor is Pookaberry the direct result of a pharmacologically induced psychological aberration. Pookaberry truly exists in Ollie’s subjective reality which is a projection of interpretations of external stimuli that are by definition physical manifestations of a consensus of the collective consciousness. Ollie is able to see Pookaberry for the same reason Pookaberry is largely invisible- Ollie is psychically capable of allowing Pookaberry to exist in his world, and in so doing permits himself to enter the realm of Pookas. Although Pookaberry lives in the Garden Cavern beneath Coral Sands Pookaberry’s ancestors come from the good planet Pooka, which along with sister planet Primordia, the evil planet Purga, and others, comprise the Star Stalker System, a group of three hundred and thirty three planets which revolve around DJ Sun; one of hundreds of thousands of stars who are the voting members of the Star Council; the highest governing body of the known Universe. Like all members, DJ Sun is bound by the codes dictated by the Universal Statutes set forth by the Star Council Tribunal which was chaired by the some of the most notable Super Nova in the universe. Planet Pooka has a long and storied past; now a shadow of its former self, it was literally blow in two by a pulsed ionic particle beam shot from a supercollider cannon on Planet Purga. Thinking they had rid the universe of Pookas forever, Perseverating Pustule and the evil Purrgatorians prematurely celebrated, but the DJ Sun was working behind the scenes to ensure the survival of the Pooka race for eons. The DJ Sun caught half of Planet Pooka in its gravitational field where it orbited for millennia undetected by the Purrgatorians. The other half slipped out of the Star Stalker System, sailed through their local All Good Galaxy, on through the universe until purely by chance or predestination it entered the Earth’s atmosphere and smashed at great speed into the then primordial sea burrowing deep into the seafloor, forming the Garden Cavern and providing a catalyst for all life on Earth which began to appear soon thereafter. The Purrgatorians , fearing Universal repercussions from the Star Alliance as well as vigilante attacks from the many tribes which inhabited neighboring planets in the Star Stalker System who were allied to the Pookas immediately embarked on a campaign of propaganda to perpetuate and validate the rumor that Planet Pooka had indeed been stuck by a massive meteor. Unfortunately there were too many witnesses to tip off DJ Sun that the Purrgatorians were the true culprits who had plotted and carried out the attack on Planet Pooka. The Star Council immediately convened in a special session, which led to indictments being filed for Perseverating Pustule and key members of his administration. The Purrgatorians hired some of the most high priced criminal lawyers in the galaxy to defend them in a trial that soon became a media circus. The trial was a complete sham with the Purrgatorians paying off or killing all key witnesses with such efficiency that the case for the prosecution went from airtight, to strong, to weak, to hopeless in six months. Palter Phenylamine, the Purrgatorians lead defense attorney harped on the fact that the Purrgatorians were victims of an intergalactic conspiracy and were being unfairly singled out simply because they had a reputation for being a singularly evil species, manically bent on complete domination of all other life forms, and more than happy to critically compromise the cosmos in their psychotic self-ingratiating quest for profit. The evil Purrgatorians, thinking they had destroyed planet Pooka celebrated and set out to sack on its sister planet Primordia, an uninhabited paradisiacal place ripe for pillage for profit. The Purrgatorians were as successful as they were efficient and about sixty five million years ago or five hundred years after they had invaded Primordia their underwater citadel was firmly established and the Purrgatorians had practically exhausted the planet’s natural resources. The Purrgatorians eventually realized that one half of Planet Pooka remained in the Star Stalker and re-launched brutal genocidal attacks which the war-wary Pookas defended with ease. Humiliated, the Purrgatorians, were on the verge of permanently aborting all raids when one of their reconnaissance ships in deep space accidentally learned that there were a pocket of Pookas holed up in the heretofore unknown Planet Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy. The Purrgatorians immediately sent a fleet of ships to Earth in 1977, invaded the garden cavern, captured every Pooka but Pookaberry who had hidden himself well beneath the leaf of a Pooka Plant and took them back to Planet Purga where they were imprisoned in the Purrgatorians infamous hell; the puss dungeon. A few days later Pookaberry brought Ollie down to the ravaged Garden Cavern where Ollie witnessed the carnage firsthand. Ollie was so incensed with fury that he vowed to build a spaceship, fly to Purga, and rescue all of the Pookas, and that’s exactly what he did, to everyone’s incredulity and delight. WHICH CAME FIRST THE POOKA OR THE POOKA NUT? Pookaberry, like all Pookas, hatch out of the Propagules or nuts of Pooka Plants which grow in the mineral rich Pooka soil. Pooka Plants are self pollinating; fertilizing themselves by rotating their anther and inserting it into the stigma cavity of their own flowers, they are hermaphroditic and asexual; as the ovary of the flower ripens it forms a hard spiky shell similar to that of the Durian fruit. The shell contains protoplasmic albumen in which the Pooka Cotyledon develops. When the Pooka Nuts or are ripe they detach from the branches, and depending if the plant is on land or under water, float or fall to the ground or bottom where they split open, freeing the fully formed Pookas inside. Pookas possess cellular immortality. Pookapol is a polyphenolic phytoalexin produced naturally by the Pookaplant and Pookas when beseiged by Pathogenic Purrgatorians , bacteria, or fungi. Pookapol stimulates the production of Pookatase which deactivates tumor suppressors and interferes with all three stages of carcinogenesis allowing cells to undergo rapid growth and to divide virtually forever without the threat of senescence. When Pookas are killed they immediately metamorphose into Pseudomonas, a plasmodial slime which sprouts pseudopods and crawls to an open area where it launches a Phototropic Perithecium fruiting body into the air supported by a telescopic cellulose stalk. The Perithecium swells and bursts releasing millions of spores which drift off with some successfully landing to sprout a Pooka Plant, which starts the Pooka life cycle anew. BEWARE OF THE PURGATORIANS! Pookaberry has every reason to fear the Purrgatorians, who are driven by a demonic urge to rid the cosmos of every Pooka; Plant, Nut, and spore. They have been accurately referred to as Neepers, or bloated bags of ovulating gonad bacteria bearing blind ended gastro vascular systems, which put simply, means a single orifice does double duty for ingestion and excretion making Purrgatorians gastronomical dictates rich in a diet of various forms of fecal matter. Unlike other shape shifting tubular organisms, Purrgatorians are hermaphroditic, capable of self insemination or asexual reproduction through transverse fission by which their body constricts at the midsection the south end grabbing on to something while the other end heads North, after a few hours of tugging, the body rips apart forming two identical entities. Purrgatorians are capable of disassembling en mass into individual asymmetrical codified conglomerations of single celled organisms and amalgamating into stratified formations of Pergophagi that rapidly pass through the Pookas aspiration nodes of the Pookas proteinaceous cytoskeleton where they coalesce in irregular patches that protrude from the cell wall forming irregular buds known as blebs that mark the onset of Pyknosis a incurable debilitating viral infection similar to Necrotizing fasciitis The dying Pookonians undergoing the final stages of poptosis display phagocytotic molecules, such as phosphatidylserine. Phosphatidylserine is normally found on the Pookasolic surface of their Chloroplastic membrane, but is redistributed during poptosis to the extracellular surface by a Pookanease protein known as scramblase. The Pergophagi contine to degrade the internal structures of the Pookas into disparate nucleosomal chromatin bodies until the Pooka disintegrates into apoptotic vesicles which are then phagocytosed by the regular Pergonian forces who collect samples of the mutagenic material that the Pergonian biochemists use to synthesize particulate pathogens. The Pergophagi then regroup into a multi cellular slug like pseudoplasmodium that migrates to the nearest mound of fecal matter where it forms a multi cellular fruiting body with some of the cells becoming spores that disseminate, while the rest form stalk cells whose only function is to raise the spores up into the air to be more easily caught in air currents where they can be carried off to germinate and produce more Purrgatorians. Although Pookas are their primary target, Purrgatorians will undermine, attack, exploit, and destroy any civilization, species, country, nation, planet, or star system in the cosmos which either possesses wealth and resources it desires, or attempts to obstruct it from achieving that goal. Homo-Sapiens are the only species in the known Universe that need not, at least for the moment, fear the Purrgatorians, who immediately upon stumbling upon this Human race; living inharmoniously and in complete discord with their ecosystems and biosphere on a obscure planet in a far flung galaxy, have been so impressed by the apathetic, inbred, genocidal, megalomaniacal, ethnocentric, imperialistic, cruel, greedy, materialistic, eugenic, demonic, superficial, financially terroristic, environmentally hazardous aspects of the locust-like infestation of the planet Earth by Human Uncivilization that Phenylalanine, the current Pogrom or ruler of the Purrgatorians ordered the construction of a sacrificial temple to glorify the accomplishments of our mighty race. The edifice was an architectural amalgam of some of mankind’s most celebrated structures throughout history. An enormous golden statue of Pestilina, the Purgatorian Goddess who spreads plaugues, pestilance, and pathogens was installed in the temple and Purgatorians from all corners of Purga made pilgrimages to celebrate the tireless dedication of mankind to become the only species to ever single-handedly bring about the extinction not only of their own species but that of all of the millions of species on planet Earth.